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THE 18 WORST THINGS ABOUT.... HAWAII

 
THE 18 WORST THINGS ABOUT.... HAWAII
Posted February 25th, 2014 @ 9:16am

1. The traffic is soul-crushing--Honolulu ranks number two nationwide for cities with the worst traffic. It is second only to Los Angeles, with the average Honolulu resident sitting in jams for 58 hours a year.

2. Radio station monotony--With all that time in the car, you'd think the radio stations would be good. But the stations are a few months behind the mainland in terms of new music, so you'll probably hear the same 5-10 songs on every local radio station.

3. You're not allowed to complain--about anything.

4. You have to be swimsuit ready all year round--No bulky sweaters or long pants to cover up holiday weight gain. If you live in Hawaii, you have to be hairless, toned, and ready for beachwear at a moment's notice.

5. It's a revolving door--There is a lot of turnover in Hawaii; people move here for an adventure and then go back to "reality." This means you are always meeting new people, but it also means that friends are constantly leaving. Be prepared for going away parties to be a social staple.

6. The cost of living is ridiculous--Almost all of Hawaii's food is imported from the mainland, which makes your grocery bill shocking. A pack of hamburger buns goes for $5.59, almost $3 more than it costs at a market in Washington, D.C., and people in Hawaii pay almost double the national average for a gallon of milk.

7. Shark attacks become a real and everyday fear--You will meet people who have come across sharks, you will swim at beaches where there have been known shark sightings, and while the odds are still very low, you'll never shake that feeling that a shark is just about to attack you.

8. You can't escape people--Never want to see an ex again? Hoping to avoid a colleague or frenemy? Good luck. You both live on a small island in the middle of nowhere.

9. One word: Vog--Allergy season is all year round and unpredictable. And instead of pollen causing your itchy eyes, it's vog: the volcanic smog that wafts over from the Big Island.

10. Sun guilt--This might sound made up, but it's a real thing in Hawaii. Some days, you just want to stay on the couch all day. Hawaii's sun and active lifestyle will make you feel guilty for being lazy.

11. You'll never see a big concert again--Hawaii's out of the way, which means no big time musicians ever perform here.

12. If you're not an avid surfer, yogi or other outdoor enthusiast, you will, at one point or another, feel like a second class citizen--Remember how the cool kids made you feel in high school? Surfers and yogis can do that with a single shaka or namaste.

13. Say hasta la vista to quality Mexican food--If you love fish and Asian cuisine, you're golden. If you want spicy guac and flavorful burritos, good luck. Hawaii is notorious for bad Mexican food.

14. You'll work as a tour guide all the time -- but you'll never get paid—The first few guests are fun, but when you're playing tour guide for the tenth time in two months, you'll consider moving into a studio with no couch just to avoid hosting visitors.

15. It's quite possible you'll live on a road that none of your friends on the mainland can pronounce--Ki'i'oni'oni Loop, anyone? Ma'ipalaoa Road? Ki'ona'ole Road?

16. You'll develop an apathy towards current events--When you're 2,400 miles from the next closest landmass and you're spending most of your free time outdoors, you'll find that keeping up with the news is very hard.

17. You'll never get dressed up again--Kiss your high heels, your boots, your blazers and ties goodbye. No one in Hawaii dresses up. Slippers are work appropriate in most offices and anyone wearing a full blown suit looks out of place. While this is pretty awesome most of the time, you may find yourself craving a little glamour every now and again.

18. Island fever--It's real, people. You will really miss things like road trips, weekend getaways that aren't to another island, and unpredictable weather. And, if you don't get them, you might start to feel a bit stir crazy.

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