Aries
You text everyone from last night and demand that you all go day-drinking, because that’s the only way to bring you out of this darkness.
Taurus
You wake up feeling like death and then immediately FaceTime your friend to talk about how awful you both feel, because misery loves company.
Gemini
You casually yack in the bathroom and then immediately rejoin your friends at the lovely group brunch you’re currently taking part in.
Cancer
You forget that you’re hungover because your friend is in so much pain that you have to tend to them and their day-after regrets instead of your own.
Leo
You ignore how awful you feel and then immediately go to the gym to sweat everything out because you’re convinced it’s the only way you’ll survive.
Virgo
You make promises to yourself and to the universe that you’re never, ever going to do this again and you’re sorry for everything (even though you’ll get convinced to do it again that night or the next weekend).
Libra
You feel totally okay about the fact that you feel like literal death, because you’re surrounded by all your friends and they all feel awful too so that somehow makes it more tolerable (and even a little bit funny depending how you look at it).
Scorpio
You somehow convince all of your friends that the best meeting place for everyone to hang out and recover is to get together at your house, even if it’s completely out of the way.
Sagittarius
You scroll through all of the pictures on your phone that show how much of a blast last night was, because when you do that, you don’t mind the insane headache and nausea as much.
Capricorn
You make a to-do list of all the things you’re going to accomplish once your body is back to normal, because that makes you feel slightly less crappy about how worthless you’re being right now.
Aquarius
You find a documentary or a new tv series that is so intense that it actually distracts your brain from thinking about all the stupid things you did last night.
Pisces
You text your friends to see how they’re feeling and to tell them that you had so much fun with them last night, while you lie face-down in your pillow and contemplate that you might actually be dying right now.