🔮 ♈ ARIES (March 21 - April 19) – Trucker Hats
You’re bold, you’re loud, and you’re convinced that Von Dutch trucker hats are ironic. It doesn’t matter what anyone says… it won’t stop you from rocking one at brunch while acting like you invented nostalgia.
🔮 ♉ TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) – MySpace Top 8 Drama
Taurus, your loyalty runs deep… but that means you’re still holding grudges from 2007. Whether it's ranking your besties in a group chat or keeping mental receipts, your MySpace Top 8 energy is alive and well.
🔮 ♊ GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) – AIM Away Messages
You might not have AIM anymore, but you’ve absolutely turned your Instagram bio or BeReal caption into an emotional cryptic message. “Don’t text. Just vibing.” You give mysterious vibes.
🔮 ♋ CANCER (June 21 - July 22) – Burned CDs & Mixtape Energy
You are in your feels 24/7, and let’s be honest—you’ve 100% made a Spotify playlist with a dramatic title like “For When Life Hits Different”.
🔮 ♌ LEO (July 23 - Aug 22) – Side Bangs & Digital Camera Photoshoots
Leo, your inner 2007 diva is SCREAMING. You’ve been caught taking full-on photoshoots with a grainy iPhone filter, posing like you’re about to drop the next Britney album. Side bangs are next on your list!
🔮 ♍ VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22) – Bullet Journals & Over-Organizing Everything
You act like you don’t miss the 2000s, Virgo, but deep down… you’re color-coding your to-do list like it’s a Tumblr aesthetic page. Admit it, you’re one step away from hoarding gel pens and making a scrapbook.
🔮 ♎ LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22) – Flip Phones & Leaving People on Read
Libra, you are channeling the art of mystery. You don’t need a flip phone, but you’re the type to dramatically snap your case shut after a text argument. Emotionally, you’re already there.
🔮 ♏ SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21) – Low-Rise Jeans
You’re intense, daring, and for some reason… you thought bringing back low-rise jeans was a good idea. But now you're realizing they’re just an evil plot to humble us all. Stick to the high-waisted safety zone.
🔮 ♐ SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21) – Taking “One Drink” Too Far
Sag, you are the person who says, “I’m just going out for one drink,” and then wakes up with glitter on their face and a flight booked to Miami. It’s giving “TikTok on the Clock” energy.
🔮 ♑ CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19) – The Blackberry Era & Hustle Culture
Capricorn, your ambition and drive are unmatched, and let’s be honest—if BlackBerrys were still a thing, you’d be the first one bringing them back. You’re all about staying on top of your game, making moves, and keeping your inbox clear. Whether it’s work or personal goals, you’ve got that early 2000s CEO energy!
🔮 ♒ AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) – Deep Conspiracy YouTube Rabbit Holes
Aquarius, let’s be honest. You’re watching 3-hour YouTube videos on “The Truth About Avril Lavigne” at 2 AM. You’re convinced the Illuminati was behind Blockbuster’s fall. We’re concerned… but also, tell us more.
🔮 ♓ PISCES (Feb 19 - March 20) – Crying Over Song Lyrics Like It’s 2006
Pisces, you just heard an old Taylor Swift song, and now you’re staring out the window pretending you’re in a music video. You don’t need a heartbreak to be dramatic—you were born this way.