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PAYTON'S PREDICTIONS: How You Should Spend The 4th Of July

Aries

All of my Aries you can bet your bottom dollar that they’ll be doing anything to get those crazy fireworks that shoot up into the sky. They will do their absolute best to put on a show and lose an eyebrow.

Taurus

A Taurus will opt to skip parades, picnics and organized fun in general in favor of scoring July 4th deals in store and online. Freedom is choosing your own debts, this year.

Gemini

Gemini’s are the sign that holds a lot of pride. A lot of pride for themselves and a lot of pride for their people. So what better way to spend the 4th of July singing ‘Take Me Out To The Ball Game’ with a beer in hand. Batter up, Geminis, you’re hitting up a baseball park this month.

Cancer

Renting a boat suits the needs of this water sign because it allows them to be away from the crowds and in the company of the people they love. Pull out your kayak and sunscreen next week

Leo

Leo’s are going to feel at home while they are out and about at a local park watching some fireworks. There’s nothing better to a leo than linking up with their favorite person and grabbing a blanket and some tequila in a waterbottle and admiring the beauty in the sky for the night

Virgo 

As an earth sign who sometimes struggles with anxiety, indigestion and hating everyone who won’t listen or pay attention to them… this 4th of July is best spent at home with their family hanging out in the backyard grilling and swimming. 

Libra

Libra is the sign of partnership and score keeping so it’s only fitting that they will spend Independence day trying to win. Whether it’s volleyball at the beach, doubles at the pool table or a three legged race, collaboration is key and victory is patriotic validation.

Scorpio

Never afraid of an ugly truth or the shadow side of history, Scorpios will be telling scary stories around a bonfire. Definitely come with an empty stomach and a sweet tooth because smore’s will be mandatory

Sagittarius

Never afraid of an ugly truth or the shadow side of history, Scorpios can tell scary stories around ye olde bonfire with special attention paid to America’s grim national pastimes of indigenous genocide, chattel slavery, political assassinations and interventionist policies.

Capricorn

No one can appreciate a declaration of independence more than a freedom seeking, Sagittarius. In honor of this day, our archer sign will be out with their friends and family camping it up. Get the camper ready! 

Aquarius

Aquarians are walking the line between structure and chaos. You can find an Aquarius out and about during the 4th at a hot dog eating contest. I mean how american can this get? 

Pisces 

Pisces are pro holiday because they like anything, federally sanctioned or not, that brings a vacation from reality. For our little Pisces fishies… they are throwing a massive pool party for friends and family. And yes- they will be dressed in all red white and blue.