Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Aries is that friend who will give you all the tough love. Will they let you vent? Sure, but expect them to be halfway out the door, ready to start a revolution with you. Their solution to your heartbreak? "EGG HIS HOUSE"
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus is a human weighted blanket. Their lap? Free. Their snacks? Gourmet. Venting to a Taurus is basically therapy with snacks, but they'll remind you at least five times to “just chill.”
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You’ll get two responses from a Gemini. Either: “Omg nooo, tell me more!” or they’ll switch topics mid-sob story to tell you about a new conspiracy theory they just read. By the end, you’re either super confused or laughing.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Cancer is the emotional sponge. They’ll cry with you, cry for you, and cry after you leave. Honestly, they're in this emotional rollercoaster more than you are. They’ll listen deep and bring snacks and tissues.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Leo is all about the drama, but like... their drama. They’ll let you vent, but only if you agree to listen to how their Starbucks order got messed up yesterday. Expect them to compare your trauma to their latest manicure tragedy.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo is the friend who’s like, “Okay, I heard you. Here’s a 5-step plan to fix your life.” Venting to them is great, but be prepared for a full analysis, spreadsheet, and maybe a therapy recommendation.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Libra is so ready to be your emotional support system—until you tell them they might need to pick a side. They’ll listen, but halfway through, they’ll be like, “But... I also get where they are coming from.”
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio is that one friend who listens way too intensely, like they’re storing all your secrets for future use. They won’t say much, but you’ll feel very understood... or low-key judged.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius will hear you out but will also be halfway through booking a trip to Bali while you’re mid-sentence. They’ll throw in some words of wisdom like, “You know, life’s too short to care. Let’s just go to the beach!”
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn will take your vent sesh like a business meeting. They’ll give you “actionable feedback,” complete with a strategy to deal with your emotional turmoil. They're efficient, but kinda cold.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Aquarius will listen but somehow spin your vent session into a philosophical conversation about the meaning of life. Expect some galaxy-brain-level theories and a deep convo about society by the end of it.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces is the “feel all the feelings” friend. They’ll cry, draw you an emotional support doodle, and maybe write a poem about your heartbreak. Super empathetic, but might get too lost in your feels.