♈ Aries (March 21 - April 19):
You're still fired up—whether it’s over the game, the commercials, or your friend who kept yelling, “We’re so back!” every five minutes. Channel that competitive rage into something productive… like signing up for a gym you’ll go to twice this month.
♉ Taurus (April 20 - May 20):
You came for the snacks, and honestly? You won. The game? Don’t remember. Commercials? Eh. But those nachos? Elite. Your Super Bowl was a culinary event, and now you’re in recovery mode, contemplating whether eating an entire charcuterie board counts as self-care. (It does.)
♊ Gemini (May 21 - June 20):
You didn’t pick a team—you picked chaos. One second you were cheering, the next you were arguing about the halftime show like you produced it yourself. Now you're in everyone’s group chat dropping conspiracy theories about who’s dating who. Classic.
♋ Cancer (June 21 - July 22):
You got way too emotionally invested, didn’t you? Maybe it was a player’s inspiring comeback story, or maybe it was a commercial about a dog aging over time . Either way, you woke up with puffy eyes and a soul that needs healing. Hydrate.
♌ Leo (July 23 - Aug 22):
The real MVP? You, performing the halftime show from your living room like it was your moment. No one asked, but you still did the choreography. The neighbors might file a noise complaint, but honestly, they should’ve just appreciated the art.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22):
You spent the night analyzing everything. The play calls, the ad budgets, the halftime wardrobe choices. The good news? You were right about that one controversial call. The bad news? No one wants to hear about it.
♎ Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22):
You didn’t care about the game; you were there for the vibes and the celeb sightings. Your biggest debate of the night? Whether the halftime performer’s outfit was iconic or tragic. And let’s be real—you probably made plans with three different people during the game and will now cancel all of them.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21):
You’re still brooding about something. Maybe your team lost. Maybe your Super Bowl bet didn’t hit. Maybe someone took the last buffalo wing before you could. Either way, you’ve been silently plotting all day, and honestly? It’s a little scary.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21):
You woke up today ready to argue with anyone who disrespects your Super Bowl takes. The hot takes are piping—you've already drafted a 10-tweet thread about why the halftime show was either the greatest or worst thing to ever happen. No in-between.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19):
You treated this game like a work project. You had prop bets, a strategy, and maybe even a mini whiteboard to track scores. And while everyone else was just vibing, you were locked in. Now you're recovering by calculating exactly how much you shouldn’t have spent on that betting app.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18):
While everyone else was talking about the game, you were explaining the sociocultural impact of the commercials and why they reflect late-stage capitalism. Did anyone ask? No. Did you care? Also no. You’re a thought leader, babe.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20):
You were deep in your feelings. The emotional halftime performance? Tears. The post-game interviews? Sobbing. The way the confetti fell? Art. You’re still replaying the most touching moments in your head, as if you personally experienced them.