♈ Aries (March 21 - April 19) – The Speed Demon
Red Flag: They want to “take things slow.”
Aries, you don’t do slow. If your date is still “figuring things out” after six months, that’s a no from you. You need passion, excitement, and someone who won’t take a week to text back.
♉ Taurus (April 20 - May 20) – The Stable Bae
Red Flag: They don’t know what they want for dinner. Ever.
Taurus, you need stability—especially when it comes to food. If they hit you with “I don’t care, you pick” every time, only to reject your suggestion? Nope. That’s a starvation-based breakup waiting to happen.
♊ Gemini (May 21 - June 20) – The Social Butterfly
Red Flag: They say, “I don’t really text much.”
Gemini, you were born to communicate. If they take 24+ hours to respond and claim they’re “not really on their phone,” they’re either lying or living in 1825. Either way, next!
♋ Cancer (June 21 - July 22) – The Hopeless Romantic
Red Flag: They “aren’t into labels.”
Cancer, you love love. If they start with the “Let’s just see where this goes” speech, you already know where it’s going—to heartbreak city, and you’re the only one crying. Protect your heart, bestie.
♌ Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) – The Main Character
Red Flag: They don’t hype you up.
Leo, if they don’t compliment your fit, hype up your selfie, or acknowledge that you are, in fact, the moment… what are they even here for? You deserve a cheerleader, not a critic.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) – The Perfectionist
Red Flag: They are too spontaneous.
Virgo, you love a well-planned life. If they text you “Hey, wanna fly to Vegas?” with zero notice, you’re already having an anxiety attack. Love should be fun, but not chaotic.
♎ Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) – The Romantic Diplomat
Red Flag: They have beef with their ex… and everyone else.
Libra, you’re all about balance. If they’re constantly talking about how crazy their ex is (spoiler: they’re probably the problem), run before you become the next villain in their breakup story.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) – The Mysterious One
Red Flag: They call you “intense.”
Scorpio, you don’t do “casual.” If they get weirded out when you ask deep questions (or don’t want to make a blood pact by the third date), they’re not ready for your level of commitment.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) – The Free Spirit
Red Flag: They don’t like to travel.
Sagittarius, if they think “adventure” means going to the other Target across town, this isn’t going to work. You need someone who will book a spontaneous trip with you, not stress about PTO.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) – The CEO of Life
Red Flag: They have no life plan.
Capricorn, if they hit you with the “I’m just vibing right now” energy at 30, your soul is already exhausted. You need ambition, goals, and at least a 5-year plan in your Google Docs.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) – The Rebel
Red Flag: They think you're "weird."
Aquarius, your quirky brain is a gift. If they don’t get your niche interests, conspiracy theories, or strong opinions on aliens, they don’t deserve you. Keep it moving.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20) – The Dreamer
Red Flag: They never remember the little things.
Pisces, if you mention your favorite song and they still don’t know it months later? If they forget your coffee order? If they don’t appreciate your deep, poetic soul??? You deserve someone who sees the magic in you.