♈️ Aries (March 21 - April 19) –
Aries, I love you, but you would absolutely get caught. You’re too impulsive, and your temper would give you away in seconds. You’d be in the interrogation room like, “OH MY GOD, YES, I DID IT, BUT THEY DESERVED IT.”
♉️ Taurus (April 20 - May 20) –
Taurus, let’s be real—you don’t want to go through all that effort. BUT if you had to? You’d have a flawless plan. No loose ends. No evidence. And after? You’d be at home, chilling, watching TV like nothing happened.
♊️ Gemini (May 21 - June 20) –
Gemini, you’d totally get away with it… until you talk too much. At first, you’re smooth—convincing everyone you were nowhere near the crime scene. But then, three weeks later, you’re at brunch like, “Oh my god, did I ever tell you about that one time I almost got caught”
♋️ Cancer (June 21 - July 22) –
Cancer, if you did it, it was because someone pushed you too far. And now? You’re sitting in the dark, crying, wondering how it got to this point. You might get away with it, but your guilt would eat you alive. Also, your diary? Filled with evidence.
♌️ Leo (July 23 - August 22) –
Leo, you could get away with it… if you didn’t make it a full production. Like, you’d leave behind a calling card just so everyone knew it was you. You'd be caught because you wanted to be remembered.
♍️ Virgo (August 23 - September 22) –
Virgo, if you had to do it, it would be perfect. No evidence. No mistakes. No nothing. The police would be baffled. The case? Cold forever. But let’s be real, you’d probably get annoyed at how messy crime is and decide it’s not worth it.
♎️ Libra (September 23 - October 22) –
Libra, you’d never get caught because no one would suspect you. You’d be out here smiling, flirting, and being so likable that detectives would apologize for even questioning you. You wouldn’t even need an alibi—your vibes are enough.
♏️ Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) –
Scorpio, let’s be real—you know how to disappear. You wouldn’t just get away with it; you’d be five steps ahead, making sure no one ever finds out. By the time people even realize something happened, you’re in another country with a new identity.
♐️ Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) –
Sag, you thought you had it all figured out, but then you forgot your phone was tracking your location, or you literally left your fingerprints on the scene. You’d get caught because you didn’t double-check your plan. Too busy vibing, not enough covering your tracks.
♑️ Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) –
Capricorn, if you did it, you’d already have a plan to get away with it. You’re the person who secretly has an escape fund and four different passports just in case. No one would even suspect you because you’d be calm the entire time.
♒️ Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) –
Aquarius, people wouldn’t even be sure if you did it or not because you’d make it so weird. Your alibi would be something so bizarre that it actually checks out.
♓️ Pisces (February 19 - March 20) –
Pisces, you’d immediately confess by accident. You’d think you were being cryptic and post a poem about it on Instagram. “The ocean runs red, like my sins of the past…” BABE. The police are reading that too. You are not subtle.