♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): If you’re the boss, suddenly it’s Hunger Games in the office — and you’re the one yelling “may the odds be ever in your favor.” If you’re the employee, you’re sending 4 emails in all caps just to prove a point.
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): As boss, you’re immediately canceling meetings and ordering DoorDash for the whole team. As employee, you’re “working from home” with Netflix on in the background.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): You’re the boss running the company like it’s a TikTok live — chaos, commentary, and oversharing. As the employee, you’re thriving in gossip HQ, aka the break room.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): Boss you is buying everyone therapy dogs and emotional support snacks. Employee you is stress-crying in the bathroom, but somehow HR calls it “team bonding.”
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22): As boss, you’ve renamed the company after yourself and installed a ring light in every office. As employee, you’re only showing up if there’s a chance to be employee of the month.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): Boss Virgo has color-coded spreadsheets for everything — even the office snacks. Employee Virgo? You’re silently judging your boss’s typos and fixing them anyway.
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): You as boss = “let’s vote on it!” for literally every decision. You as employee = finessing your way out of work with charm and iced coffee runs.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): If you’re the boss, you know everyone’s secrets and use them for “motivation.” As an employee, you’re the one silently plotting a takeover from your cubicle.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): Boss you is declaring “casual Friday” every day and trying to turn work into a road trip. Employee you is mysteriously absent because you found cheap flights.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): You as boss = terrifyingly efficient, making people cry but also doubling profits. You as employee = secretly running the office better than your boss, but letting them think it’s their idea.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): As boss, you’re changing the whole company policy to “do whatever feels right.” Employee you is starting a petition in Slack just to prove a point.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): Boss Pisces is holding meetings about “vibes” and mood-boarding office goals. Employee Pisces is daydreaming so hard they miss clocking out — again.