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PAYTON'S PREDCITIONS: Which Board Game Are You?


Chasing, racing, pawn crowning, primary color wearing Trouble has Aries written all over it. Trouble is distinguished by the presence of the “Pop-O-Matic”, die roller, which in true fire sign fashion, makes a cracking sound when activated, accelerates the game and prevents players from cheating.


Taurus is a fixed earth sign that is really big on values and possessions. Which is why Catan is the game for them. They are driven by comfort, the securement of tangible goods and the sense of superiority that comes from getting a good deal. 


Gemini is ruled by fast talking and they know how to use words as weapons. And Geminis are lovers of language and Scrabble provides the opportunity for a Gemini to flex their smarts, talk their mess and defend the use of words they make up.


Ever and always trying to make it home Cancer plays for keeps which puts them in line with Sorry! Cancer is like the mom of the friend group and the game Sorry! Gives the same vibes. 


Leo is a fixed fire sign with a cutthroat approach to competition and a lot of the time they live in a fantasy land. The Game of Life is theatrical, and is played by choosing your life scenarios, adding people to your party car and racing towards the gates of retirement. In true lion form, the game is won by ending up the richest b–ch at the table.


Nothing is more satisfying to a Virgo than being right. Virgo is the resident detective of the zodiac, and they will dig deep and get to the bottom of mysteries, people, and mistakes. This impulse to scrutinize and desire to be right make Clue, the classic murder mystery board game, the perfect board game for a Virgo.


Libra rules the house of partnership and checkers is the board game made for two. Those born as a Libra have a natural affinity for order and beauty. And a checkers board you need to use your brain and it’s also aesthetically pleasing. 


Scorpio rules the house of death and transformation and they exist a little closer to the living and the dead than most. The Ouija board is a welcome “game” to scorpions. Talking to ghosts, conspiring with spirits, seeking answers from the other side and being the bravest person in the room is not just their forte but their preference.


Sagittarians live to push boundaries and press their luck with any manner of games of chance. Always being down to travel… a Sag can get on board with Jumanji.


Weighing RISK versus reward in their everyday life… a Capricorn can identify in full with this game of global domination called RISK. A Capricorn is built to endure and invest and Risk is famously known for requiring a commitment of hours and even days to finish.


Aquarius is a fixed air sign and at its highest expression, it serves humanity through idealistic innovation and uncompromising vision. Monopoly was originally designed by artist/writer/feminist/inventor/progressive Lizzie Maggie to demonstrate, via board game, “the evils of accruing vast sums of wealth at the expense of others. This is the perfect game for our penny pinching aquarians.


If Pisces people had their way, the world would look more like Candy land than the mess we currently live in. Pisces can live on a planet of fantasy, delusions, escape and Lisa Frank coloring books and Candy land lives up to this idea.